Open up, Big one =)

I didn't know you could use 2 fake eyelashes glued one on top of another for one eye to give it a more dense/dramatic look.

I didn't realise how a proper makeup brush and good makeup allows you to use so little of the product, yet achieve such vibrant/lasting results.

I didn't think it'd be this tough to stick to an exercise regimen and simple diet plan.

I didn't know I'd go through this much pain and confusion in just a month even though I wasn't PMS-ing.

But, oh well, HELLO THERE, WORLD! :D

So, I have just been thinking. (Yeah, like I don't do it enough, huh.) There is so so much to life. But what the human mind knows in the course of human life is just a handful of what's in store. Just a baby handful, mind you.

7 weeks came and went like the postman would come, deliver and go and never comeback; all in 3 minutes. Something like that. So, before I go on bragging about what life ought to be, let us see... Hmmm.... I did, I clearly remember, have so many little little dreams I wanted to live to enjoy and spend a fruitful, satisfying holiday. Almost none came true. Almost. None. Yeah, almost none.

I wanted to get a job. Failed.

I wanted to get new jeans. Failed

I wanted to get new clothes for school. Failed

I wanted to get the damned nail strengthener. *Ding!*

I wanted to get new footwear for school. *Ding!*

I wanted to do my hair. Failed.

I wanted to start saving. Failed.

I wanted to meet up with friends at the beach. *Ding!*

I wanted to clean up and organise my study room for the new semester. * Ding!*

I wanted to lose some damned weight. Major failed.

I wanted to get a freaking bloody job! FAILED!

I wanted to... *snores*...

See. So many little little dreams. Many more went unmentioned. If there's such a word. Will somebody check that for me please. Pfft. I am so tired. So so tired. I know I had mentioned in my previous post I wanna write about that, write about this, and then that and oh! this!! I will. Just wait.

I wouldn't lie that my holidays were terrific. No they weren't. Except for the occasional lunches and dinners with some dear friends of mine. I read a few books. Went to the library. Drooled over cake/cupcake/cheesecake/sponge cake/chocolate cake (Oh, sorry they're all cakes. I got carried away) recipes. Watched hundreds of makeup videos on YouTube. Got all excited about something that never really happened in the end. Slept half my holidays away. Sulked a quarter of my remaining days away. Spent too much time thinking about issues that make me think even more and almost caught myself running away from home. Well, I should say, so much did happen. But it was all something like this... internal war. A battle of emotions and words and thoughts and excitement (this comes under emotion, doesn't it?) and discovery and music and passion and love and lust and ... oh... so much.

Trust me, it was such a pity I, at that time, felt as lonely and helpless as I could have ever. I mean, what was wrong with the Mother? Good lord, me. I had her with me all the time at home. But, nothing really ever happened. She barely talked to me. And if I were to tell her that, I know what she'd blame it on. THE LAPTOP! =) Brilliant as can be. The only times she probably communicated with me would have been the times she woke up in the wee hours of the morning to nag at me to go to bed. Grrr... Holidays Ma! Bleah. And the main main main reason I was so upset for the most part was family. Sometimes ridiculous. But hey, eventually you will forgive them and yourself because you have no other choice but to forgive and 'forget'. Can't and won't hold grudges, right? Family, man. Family.

So, school is starting and this time I will make sure I do better than I have been for the past academic year. Because, you wanna know why? I know I can and will and have to do better if I want to go somewhere in life. You know, you could live your life day to day, but hey, I am not like that and it scares me sometimes to know what could happen if you never had a plan. And I know things are so unpredictable and all these days. in fact, I think I am living day to day. But it helps me stay focused and disciplined and it most definitely reminds me that I have stuff to take of, myself. So, we will see. Go with the flow but with careful effort. And yes, I am satisfied with my results for Semester2 in school. But there is something about never wanting to stop right there. Woohoo! I actually can't wait for school because at last I get to venture into some real psychology. I am glad I decided to sign up for the Social Psychology module which I will be doing for about 7 weeks, hoping it will help me make a major major decision. =)

Agni was a blast for sure! Had so so much fun going back to AJC to help out and all. And definitely honoured to be called back as a judge for the singing category. There is so much talent out there. And you know what, it is so sad that in Singapore, people worry so much about money and academia and jobs and then forget all about what really matters to a man in his lifetime. It is sad. Sometimes I wish things were different or that at least I was born somewhere else where my thoughts synced in with. Oh well, gotta live with it for now. I can't afford to venture out now. Even if I want to, I have restrictions, like chains to my feet, you know. Oo... what a digression! Haha! But yeah, Agni was a good show. I am glad the juniors survived and gave it their best. It must have been so much fun planning such an event for the great AJC TLDDS. =) And great job for Arangam too. But could have been better. Hee...

So so, I was also gonna talk about make-up and music and love and yes the BIG O! And some of life's goals. But looking back on this drafted post, they can wait. For now, I will just start school. Take it slow and steady and hope for the best and work for the best. From each His finest effort, remember? Lol. (Primary School motto)

You all have a great great ... month ahead? Yeah. And a splendid rest of the year. We shall see what's in store for me. Can't wait! (I know I can afford to sound that little more excited but I am! trust me! :D)

Will I love?