for once...they made me think!

am i making a mistake??
i mean...did i make a mistake??
u see...it goes like this! i take a sub i was told to take. an extra subj. n i was told to take it bcos they thot i cld manage! ya! but then...i had to sit for my mid yr paper today. and guess what paper it was! tamil literature!!!! okay! but my mistake was to not have studied for it...AT ALL! u mite be thinking...wat the hell! she din study for a lit exam let alone a tamil lit exam n she sat for it!!! yup! exactly! that IS wat happened! but then....my frenz made me think abt this foolish mistake...for the first time. but it was too late! i admit! i was a bit too complacent abt it as i was sure i was gonna quit lit aft my mids. so u noe...i thot wat was the use of studying for a subj i was gonna quit??? n THAT was the mistake! my frenz said...even if u r gonna quit it...if u dun do well in ur mids...it will pull down ur ave mark on the whole! n for that first time...they made me think! suddenly...for the whole day n even till now...i feel guilty! i m nt those type of a person who goes for EXAMS w/o studying AT ALL! i was surprised...to tell u the truth! but then...it was to late...only 1 hr to the exam...it was too late to memorise tons of stuff written in old tamil! but i did go for the paper anyway...n i did manage to answer the 5 Qs i was expected to ans. i did manage to keep writing for the whole 2.5 hrs. but i had no evidence in hand with me! i hope i dun fail...but even if i do....it is my fault!
i still dun understand wat came over me! really! but i noe i have been noticing sth reli strange these few days! i tend to give up very easily! very very easily! i tend to simply go to slp w/o finishing all my hw! i tend to go to slp even w/o packing my stuff for the nxt day! i tend to think wat the hell is the use of doing this...doing that! i dunno! sth is wrong! reli wrong!
i noe i m nt myself these few days... i keep asking...why do i have to study the stuff i m studying! i still see no reason hw they are gonna help me in the future!

uyir vida sonnaal uyir vidukindren...unai vida sonnaal unai vida maaten!