for you...

a kiss!

i dunno wat's come up with me, but juz bear with it alright!


uyir vida sonnaal uyir vidukindren...unai vida sonnaal unai vida maaten!

No! No! No!

Does she always have to disappoint me by saying "No!"??? And why is it that I always have to listen to her and abide by whatever she says? My mother! Sometimes, it so gets onto my nerves as to how easily she spoils my mood for the WHOLE DAY! I asked her if i could go and watch my friends performing at the community club in the evening for racial harmony. And do you know what she had to say? "I'd rather you stay home peacefully and do your homework!" Ughh! That's the worst thing I would ever want to hear on a tired Saturday after school! For the last time I shall tell you, I don't like spinach, so I won't eat it! Never! And here I am still infront of the computer, slacking! Did it make a difference? Me staying at home? Huh! I just realized how I have to live my life because she wants me to live it so! I'd rather sleep myself to death. If only I could, though.

uyir vida sonnaal uyir vidukindren...unai vida sonnaal unai vida maaten!

Myself.

i havent been blogging for some time. i juz realized that it was due to my lack of concentration in life. health. studies. family. friends. people. happenings. bad. my days (actually months) have been bad. so bad i dun rmb anything abt how it all started. i dunno, for now, what exactly to expect in the future. i juz live life the way it wants me to live it. it's like...i suddenly feel so IRRITATED with people whose company i used to LOVE! it's all so unexpected. u have no rights to blame me. cos i din ask for it! who wld ever want to live a disgusting life like mine. well, i guess it's high time i told myself to look at the bright side of life and enjoy it. put behind all my troubles and think of them as stones in ur rice. u bite em once....take them out of ur mouth...look at em for a moment...laugh at urself for being so careless...and carry on eating and enjoy ur meal! as simple as that.

complication

faith

love

passion

satisfaction

disappointment

expectations

trust

this is life. live it. accept it.

uyir vida sonnaal uyir vidukindren...unai vida sonnaal unai vida maaten!

i don't know what's happening!

one: i m irritated cos there are so many problems arising in school! the teachers and my studies and my ccas!!!! and they come tell me stuff that stresses me up like water forcing its way thru a broken dam! ughh! its not new. but its tooo much! i need a break! someone get me a kit-kat pls!!!

two: i m irritataed cos i m afraid i might not be able to achieve what i want in the future. a steady, respectable job in the medical industry. but i feel like my world's collapsing. juz like i felt wen brazil lost the world cup! ughh! its not new either! but again i need a break. and this time i dun mind if i dun get a kit-kat! i want someone to hug. hug reli tight and never let go. so a HUGE TEDDY BEAR will do!



uyir vida sonnaal uyir vidukindren...unai vida sonnaal unai vida maaten!

An Illusion

it looked so beautiful,
i thought i would love it.
when i entered this world,
i was as innocent as a ________;
as innocent i don't even know what to say up there!
i don't remember committing a crime,
before i started to realize i was cheated.
i see no reason,
why it should happen to me.
by god,
was i blinded.
by love,
was i blinded.
then it struck me!
fool!
it hurt so much,
it burned me.
it was not love,
it was hell,
it was hatred,
it was the ugly truth
that they left behind.
an illusion,
i call it.
a beautiful illusion
that cheated me;
that blinded me;
that fooled me.
like an amoeba,
i was about to burst,
this time filled with pain;
heartless pain that poked my eyes,
i cried out blood.
my pain is the colour of blood.
blood is the result of my pain.
the pain that started
ever since i opened my eyes
the minute i was born.
then u came.
u came and told me to cry;
cry all i could
so that no more blood
from my eyes
could blind me!
i cried.
thank you.
then i realized,
that even you
are, but, an illusion.
this is reality:

reality that hurts.



uyir vida sonnaal uyir vidukindren...unai vida sonnaal unai vida maaten!

they forgot to gain victory...

my world simply collapsed
wen i first wondered
hw brazil cld ever let france score 1.
but then i knew my brazil cld do it.
they did try!
they did!
then there were 2 mins left...
n stupid referee gave france free kick!
fool!
they still played!
played like the champions!
but...france juz din let em win!
i juz cldnt believe it!
never!
ronaldo tried...
ronaldinho tried...
kaka tried...
robinho tried...
everyone...
but nth changed!

i cried.



uyir vida sonnaal uyir vidukindren...unai vida sonnaal unai vida maaten!

i cried...

ok...today choir was somewhat emotional and tiring for me...weirdly! the reason for being tired was sleep deprivation for the past wk or so...n the 2.4km run ydae for pe. but why i became emotional n teared a no of times is mr goh and a song we were learnin today...

wen mr goh tole a few gals n me to sing alone...he sudd asked me, "dharshini, are u holding back cos the others are not singing?? cos i noe u can be louder than that..." then i tole him lah...it was cos of ma bad throat...but u noe...it reli surprised me wen he actualli asked me that Q. i mean...hello...y wld i ever wanna do that? neway...aft he turned back to cont wif the rest...i teared. thinking abt how i m not my self nwadays. so many changes, so many hesitations. i juz noe it. the difference.

then i teared again wen we were singing that song...'seasons of love'(the beautifullest song ever)...the words...the feeling...the emotions...the voices...the meaning...the music. so sweet....i cried. haiz...

and wen i came home...i decided to watch its video on the choir blog. omg...i cried reli....! this time cos of the way they sang and how the scenes explained the words ever so clerly yet humbly...(i noe i sound like crap...but u wldnt understand!) i guess it is juz a bit too much for me to take lah...

uyir vida sonnal uyir vidukindren...unai vida sonnaal unai vida maaten!